Sigh of relief

I wouldn't have been able to envision any of what was about to come. It was indeed, a peculiar strike of fate that a few of us found ourselves sailing on the same rocky boat.

The tremors started about a week ahead. First I thought it was only me imagining it. Then they said it was the volcano waking up. Slowly releasing, increasing in magnitude.

At night the bed was shaking and there was an odd sense of anticipation. Even now, the ground is shaking.

Then sometime around the afternoon it happened. Lava forced itself through the bedrock and out it spewed, filling the air with a very familiar smell.

Fumes. Almost industrial, but closer to that of explosives. And humid. The sky was permeated with small flakes of charred minerals and nutrients.

Quite spectacular, although not as dramatic, the way they present it in the movies. No picture could capture its immensity. Only a human mind could capture the scene precisely, its depth and vastness.

As it takes all of the eightneen senses to perceive the moment unfolding, fully aware. The eyes saw it, but also felt the sting of the flakes floating in the air.

There was a deep rumble, like a distant thunder, going on for days. At times louder, followed by tremors.

Other times less audible, somewhat like waves crashing onto the shore. Gentle but consistent.

We try to give some form of meaning to it. But we cannot. Just as a moment is best lived, and a piece of art is not as valuable as the unique state in which the artist finds himself while creating it. 

All the while there was a sense of Joy. I don't know why. A feeling of unmovable serenity. Nature was graciously wreaking havoc, and it felt right, like a sigh of relief.

Others were quite excited. For a few days they forgot about their daily, recurring thoughts and habits.

We were all lined up on a peak, watching the outroar of magma. Several men were gathered together, speaking in a loud and obvious manner. The Palmeros. Spaniards.

I haven't felt this calm in my life. Speaking of opposites. With the blast came rain. And cold. Lowest temperatures so far.

How come?

There were massive changes in air composition and humidity. Massive changes in local, focused temperature. 

Release control, release tension. 

Support comes.


Meaning can be found in being passive, in enjoying the pleasures life has to offer and letting opportunity and resource come freely and taking as much as needed. By listening to intuition and living within a free flowing perception of time.

Meaning can also be found in being active, in pursuing goals, creating opportunities, being able to negotiate. In making a well-calculated map of reaching a target and following the necessary steps.

I think this is where there is a potential for men and women to clash. Some roles have been inversed and adopted almost in a dogmatic fashion.

"How to be more feminine" or "How to embody feminine qualities"

But also "How to become independent and build your own successful business/career" and invest a lot of time in a system that is designed to enhance mainly masculine qualities. 

And there are so many gurus, teaching young women how to focus on a money and status oriented career. Nothing wrong with that. It just needs to be put into perspective.

How many hours and brain power are you willing to put in your business or career and how many hours are you willing to enjoy life as is? Is there a way to weave all if it in a comfortable manner? 

Can it be about an exchange of experience and presence? 

Anyways. What are we really focusing on, to  live a meaningful life, or to seek for a meaning in it? Is it something that can be shared? Or sought after individually. 

Maybe it is something we had all along and it was just a language - based human error, the inability to grasp its existence. To see things clearly. 

Meaning is personal. You can look for answers in philosophy, or psychology, or poetry. Religion. Arts. And you will in fact have your intellectual needs met. But at the end of the day, meaning is a sensation. You either have it or you don't. Like love.

And the main difference is just a matter of interpretation. The meaning we construct around words and concepts is strongly linked to how (if) we seek a meaning in existence. Nevertheless Truth is somewhere beyond these. It's not unattainable. 

But unattainable through debate and analysis, or even, seeking. Internal or external. It is present in a state of light-hearted certainty. 

Of what? Of just As Is. 

Reality is always better than fantasy. In humble confidence. 

Living to see nature unleashed is beyond any sermon or lecture.

It fosters memories. Memories of a shared history. 

The body knows. The memory is stored within the tissues, within DNA. 

And there are few ways to unlock this evolutionary heritage. This strength. 

Extreme conditions. Endurance. Fasting. 

Here it is so visible, it's calling out to be recognized. All the layers of solidified magma - from the oldest to the newest. 

Planetary memory. 

Somehow it influences how time is perceived. Looser. Puts things into perspective.

It has a different rhythm and it takes you with it. Everywhere you go, you become part of it. Part of a chain reaction. And again, it has to do with time. In a practical sense.

In taking the time to do things in a proper, thorough fashion. In moving along with the seasons, slowly, growing with it, growing into a larger scheme. Not becoming, but being.


Attentive. Nurturing.