Over-saturation and how we connect to certain individuals, and how we can help heal each other's wounds.
By putting ourselves into familiar scenarios.
This subject is pretty elaborate because every individual is complex and at some point we need to make a distinction between how far does my own distress reach and how far does yours.
Is there a space where we mix?
Well, it is a difficult thing. When we have the same lessons, on different levels with different or similar implications, and we interact, being able to distinguish between re-living the painful experience :
1. Because you need to learn and heal and I am here to help you by living it through with you (empathy)
2. Because I need to learn my lesson by re-living the experience with you, so that we might heal, together.
It is almost as if we are going to the extremes of consumption - of anything - to heal part of ourselves that is dis-functional, or incomplete. The quantity and quality in this context is subjective.
But the thing that intrigued me is why we need to go overboard in order to connect? Are we recreating the fall from Grace over and over?
Do we subconsciously go back to that moment to face, and heal that immeasurable pain? Pain caused by the unreality of separation? And not only that, but also the main identification with the body, with a voice(s) coming from somewhere in our heads... Hm.
And this manifests through chaotic consumption, be it food, beverages, tobacco, drugs, data, you name it. Anything that is altering the perception of the body. Or, the perception of the connection between the mind, the body and the spirit.
It is a way of stepping out of daily psychological setup dealing with a coarse reality.
And it is almost like a memory, deeply ingrained within our DNA. A yearning to go Home. To feel seen, loved, understood, without judgement. Of being held, sheltered and supported.
Our minds work in twisted ways, often turning against a normal flow of reasoning and analysis, and action.
And it goes as such: the one state we're living, over and over, is the heaviness of the body and the conscious or unconscious attempt to re-shape our perception of, and our presence in it, and it (us) within reality.
Again, we do it through numerous ways, as movement, over-saturation, alcohol, drugs, intercourse, breath-"work", fasting, asceticism, self-inflicted mutilation or pleasure, zero-gravity rooms, and of course, meditation or prayer.
All of these are a way of searching for Eden. For completion. For going back (within a non-linear time-frame) to our most natural way of being, uninhibited, open. Unguarded.
But this time around is different. It is not only the state of being in paradise, but also the way of attainment is through the Abyss.
As a complete man goes through his initiation that implies pain, fear, misery, loss, stress, hunger and desperation. Only then can he rise above, becoming adaptable, humble, powerful and sharp.
You have to know your snakes in order to recognize them around you as well. You have to be able to stand tall in face of adversity after having fallen one hundredth time, time and time again.
You need to be able to step into circumstances that challenge your integrity and see how far you can go without being averted. See how far you can push your body and know where you need to stop. Stop pretending, stop chasing. Stop knocking yourself down, voluntarily or involuntarily.
Stop making decisions based on other's fleeting opinions. Stop making compromises and start living your life the way you want to, in accordance with your highest goals, taking full responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
Let the mind clear itself of any excess data. What others do or what they say, what he is or she thinks of me or what they may come across as, or what I may come across as.
Or what I may need to do for them to like me. Or how can I improve my image in other's eyes. Or how I can make you do my bidding.
Clear these out. Let your judgement become unhindered. Don't force it. Relax into it.
Speak your mind, say things as straightforward as you can. Stop wasting your breath on unnecessary small talk, stop saying things that make you weak. Or things that put you in a position that you may not hold for a very long time.
If you cannot say it, don't say it.
Once I realized how many things don't need to be verbalized, I had no other option than to become silent. For a long time. And it was okay. It felt good. Like running.
I am also just learning about these now and by writing them down sealing a deal with myself and the world.
Silence filled me with insight and gave me strength to move on my way. Silence healed me. I gave away any perceived control and surrendered to what my heart longed release. And it came. Out and about.
Eagerly touching every leaf, every speck of dust, every grain of sand, every droplet of dew, everything that breathes and everything that doesn't.
It touched the final rays of a setting sun and it turned out to be the only thing I could observe at the time. Once it was released it lead its own life, it in turn opened my eyes to the beauty of the moment. It traveled far, it touched like-beings, it flooded the land and shook the grid.
Let it manifest itself. Let it out. Let it be. Do not feel ashamed for feeling things deeper and for finding your ways do not match a common standard.
Do not feel ashamed for being you, for saying things the way they are at the time of speaking.