People think, God forbid anyone saw me laughing by myself, they will think I've gone mad or something.
And even if they don't mean it, they still say it. Now, why is that?
Have we taught each other to keep a solid and grave demeanor when we're in public, by ourselves? Do we wish to gain recognition through that, and ultimately, belong to the very public we are trying to hide ourselves from?
Huh. Or is it because we have become so bored of ourselves that we seek entertainment and approval from the outside first?
We have thus narrowed down our intellectual conversations to a specific group, or a specific norm.
Why first, you need to be able to entertain yourself, or entertain several complex concepts to be able to offer any valuable insight into and out of the psyche. Otherwise, the totality of our conversations will revolve around a few smart remarks.
You need to become aware of the prospect of your ignorance first. Or, of the possibility of the failure to recognize your own ignorance.
It is the only way to maintain a meaningful existence.
Watch the ideas circling in and out of your mind and look for patterns.
Patterns that keep repeating themselves. Become aware of them. Seek to find out where they come from, if they are yours, or if they are imposed by someone else. If they are your ideas, and they go on in loops with no use or efficiency, are they mainly a reflection of your emotional movements?
They could be based on a childhood trauma, or an even older one. They could be based on an internal disorder, on being stretched too thin, scattered. And you can notice on how many variables you can keep in mind. On how far you can coherently expand into a story, or an explanation. On how your arguments open up to the world and how they can be used for the betterment either of yourself or of others.
Use your cognitive potential to help others understand and open up and not to impose a transitory opinion.
If you recognize your thoughts to be of someone else's see why that person or that group has such an impact on you. Is it family? Is it friend or foe? Is it the news? What is it based on? Gossip? Fear? Pride, or, insecurity? Anger? Hatred? Conformity? See, we let these ideas and emotions enter our system as if it was a trash bin, dump 'em all in there, it doesn't matter. It does matter! It matters a lot.
Because this will define how you construct your present state of mind and therefore your future and past. Do not disregard the impact of someone else's actions and thoughts. If you resonate even a little bit, you will attract these people in your life.
If you manage to recycle some of your own thoughts, and take a moment, you will have a newfound state of tranquility.
And this state can differ from one moment to the other. It isn't something fixed, tranquility. It's not the same whether you have it at your home or on the street, on a peak, on a treetop or on a field, at the seaside or even in the bus, or at work. This state is easily and tenderly modulated by external sounds, smells, sight... It becomes one with the environment if the environment is favorable. If not, it will probably dissociate.
After you've found this, you can listen to other's views of life and look for a piece of knowledge that you quite possibly don't have.
Reach down and meet the last frontier of your intellectual capacity and recognize that as being a temporary limit.
You will need to go through this process several times in order to achieve your goal, or even, to experience clarity.
And all of this will happen as you amuse yourself your own frivolous ideas.