30 minutes into nothing

It was almost as if it wasn’t. A place where there is nothing at all. It is difficult to comprehend, or even talk about.

A nurse was watching me from above, and I had this funky smelling gas mask on my face. Then there was a cold shudder, a jolt of pain, traveling from the forearm towards the chest and head. She asked if it hurt. It did, but I did not get the chance to say it.

The chemicals took over my whole body and soon I wasn’t anymore. Nothing, complete psychological break. There was darkness, but not of the terrifying kind. No dreams, no visions, no lights, no ethereal beings floating about. Only void.

There was no observer, no observed. Not even a single point of attention. No fear, no pain, no sense of separation, no happiness, no joy.

A complete palette of potential and a blank canvas to fill with Creation.

The body shivers, fearful of its own cessation.

This is what death must feel like to a non-believer. It is home in its entirety, it embraces you and folds you into something completely different.

I find it fascinating how we create these mental constructs to find the eternal. There is difference between human creation and human perception and universal potential and limitless resource. We fill this blank canvas with our own existence.

The eternal, by definition, cannot exist in a man-made fantasy. Or it does, in a way, as just another form or interpretation.

Words are only useful to describe the experience, not the experienced.